While most human beings will engage in making some excuses in their lives, the common Ben Franklin saying “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else,” may be more of a self-fulfilling prophecy for excuse-makers than simply avoidance or laziness. Whether excuses are used to shift blame or improve what others may think about us, it is easier for excuse-makers to live with excuses than living with the fact that they tried something and failed.
I can't stand when people make excuses and it's so obviously a lie! It makes me feel like they think I'm stupid. Someone actually made an excuse to me just the other day, and seconds later I caught them in a blatant lie. It made me soooooo (excuse my language :P) PISSED! They told me one thing and then told me something completely different. As if that wasn't a total give away, their body language was screaming "LIAR"! They would not make eye contact with me, they were very hesitant, they stuttered, and then they just stayed quiet and had a very uncomfortable/scared look on their face. It took a little bit of trust that I have for this person away. They are going to have to work on earning it back. It obviously had a negative affect on our relationship. After much back and forth (loud talking :P) we finally resolved it. A major fight could've been avoided had they just told the truth the first time.
ReplyDeleteI deal with plenty of excuses during my work day. I often have customers who fail to pick up items in a timely manner. Once they receive the letter stating their items will be sold, they miraculously find a way to come and get them. The excuses are almost always the same. I/my spouse/parent was in the hospital for months and I couldn't get away. So, for four months you were locked in the hospital? You didn't leave for work or food or to check on your house, you know, the one that is missing the rug you haven't picked up? Body language is the key factor for me to know someone is telling a lie. They tend to shift their weight back and forth and avoid eye contact. They also tend to give useless and way-too-in-depth details to try and convince me. I'm not an idiot by any stretch and all this does is make me not want to be lenient on the storage fees. The truth will set you (and your $10,000 rug) free!
ReplyDeleteThis may seem odd, but I really can't remember a time an excuse was given to me that I knew was a lie. Not an adult at least. So, I'm going to share an experience I had with my little 5-year-old sister.
ReplyDeleteEmma, my sister, blamed getting the cereal out on her little 3-year-old brother, Joseph. I knew it was a lie because he can't climb on top of the counter and get the cereal out of the cabinet above the stove. Also, she kept looking away from my eyes.
It made me a bit upset with her. Obviously my parents have taught her lying is not right and it disappointed me that she resorted to it. I'd say it had a negative affect on our relationship. We sat down and talked about it, but I don't trust her as much as before. :[
Hope everyone had a good weekend. See you tomorrow.
Until next time,
Audrey
Well I work at Aeropostale in Ingram mall so I am definitely dealing with a lot of shop lifters. People often tend to steal from one location and will go to another to exchange that item they stole for something they actually want.
ReplyDeletePeople who usually return without the receipts are usually the ones we are concerned about. For example, one time this couple was returning a bathing suit tops which were all XS and the man was returning 2 pair of shorts that were a size 27, (dont forget in the store, all the clothes are sized so the smallest sizes are in the front which are easier to get a hold of!)
Whenever I have a return, its a must to ask what the reason for the return was. Usually people are straight to the point and respond, "It didn't fit" or "I just didn't like it". When I asked this couple what the reason was, they started giving me this long story! They gave me some story like this (let me make it aware this couple didn't exactly have the body for an XS bathing suit top and size 27 shorts), "Well we were in a rush that day and we didn't even notice the sizes we grabbed. Then we got home to try on the clothes and noticed they didn't fit!" Basically told BS.
Of course we have no proof that they stole but just by the way they were telling the story, they completely gave themselves away. They were really avoiding looking me in the eye, they were real hesitant to give me their ID to put their info in the system (since they didn't have a receipt), they are constantly moving trying to hurry up and get through the situation. I just find it really funny how people make up complete lies and continue to expand their story just to get away with something. It makes me want to just not deal with customers or work in retail anymore because of the way people are now a days.
I deal with excuses and lies alot especially from one of my good friends. He is one of those people that lies about everything when he doesn't have to. Maybe it makes him feel better about himself or something but I don't know why he always makes these excuses and lies. One of the best examples I can think of was a time when we were supposed to get an apartment together. He said that he was going to move in with me for sure but it ended up being a lie. I gave him all the paper work one day and I guess he didn't like the price we had to pay per month because I didn't hear from him again for a long time after that. We had a deadline to meet, so I would always try to call and get in touch with him but there was no answer. About a week or so after the deadline I finally get in touch with him and he tells me he was out of town and was really busy. Now this could have been the truth but I realized he was just making an excuse when he started stuttering and trying to get the conversation over with really fast. After all this I could not look at him the same way as I did before. Our friendship took a negative route but we still keep in touch. Now whenever he tells me something I always expect an excuse from him.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time I give a person the benefit of the doubt. it's understandable to lie or deceive if easier for both sides. Although if the same person keeps lying or making up excuses, my friendship is like a business too many excuses and I drop you like a bad habit.
ReplyDeleteI actually find it rather interesting when people make excuses because to me that just means they weren't brave enough to tell the truth. I've seen this literally every day of my life; people make excuses all the time, right and left which is why I always have that little voice in the back of my head (my mom) saying "you choose your behavior, you choose your consequences" Making excuses has become a bad habit that I've kicked a long time ago (thanks mom! haha) :)
ReplyDeleteHope everyone had a good weekend <3
I enjoyed reading how differently classmates communicated experiences with lying. Some shared dishonesty in familial relations while others told of lies they encountered in the service industry.
ReplyDeleteIt is clear that lying does damage to the person-to-person relation no matter the prior relationship. However, the pre-existing relationship has a major effect on the impact and resolution. If a person knows the other party intimately and they are lied to, that person may feel cheated, betrayed, or severely hurt. Their past relationship will immediately be called to attention. It is natural to question dishonesty most from those we trust.
I found this to be the biggest difference from the blog posts; familial dishonesty caused much more reflection and impact from both parties whereas lies in the service industry seem to be more anticipated by both parties, almost becoming commonplace, causing less damage. Also, lies in the service industry such as returns and receipt hoax are reprimanded in legal terms. I think that accountability is the most significant difference in how people approach dishonesty.
In my experience, a close family friend agreed to manage a program with me for a year then left halfway through. After several failed meetings, she began giving me excuses that she was ill or swamped with schoolwork. Looking back, I knew she was lying from the start of the excuses because of the unsteadiness in her voice, shortness of her text messages, and avoided calls. I felt hurt by her avoidance and it negatively affected our relationship severely. Even now I am unsure why our friendship ended over this matter. This brought me back to the quote in the prompt, “… it is easier for excuse-makers to live with excuses than living with the fact that they tried something and failed.”