EQ more useful

i would rather have a higher EQ than IQ. EQ is something that you have to come to terms with on your own, it can't really be taught. Also, with a higher understanding of your nature and yourself it is easier to take in and process new information and help you develop a higher IQ. I feel it is better to be emotionally stable than to be a brainiac. Many of the really smart people i have met are actually too smart for their own good, and it creates problems with their jobs.

Making the Shift...

I like the transition made from IQ/EQ to Hard Skills/Soft Skills. These things have played major roles in the many, many years of my life. There is another test I was made aware of when I was younger. It identified personality "types" that one would be placed across after answering questions designed to create a blueprint to that individual’s "type". I'll provide the link so everyone can play along if they'd like to. However, when looking at the labels, that test like these would have us carry, it truly boils down to how well you know yourself. Get a great IQ score... you're borderline crazy. Get one lower than a friend or classmate... you're not adequate. Be responsible with your strengths, always improve on your weaknesses, watch your manners, and you’ll do fine in this world.

Here's the link: http://www.keirsey.com/

Hard Skills vs Soft Skills

There are two kinds of skills one can have. Hard skills and soft skills. Hard skills are the knowledge needed to perform a particular job. Some examples of hard skills are: knowing how to operate a computer, how to create a portfolio, and where to place the needle to draw blood from a vain. Hard skills are essential to qualify for a job-without them you wouldn't even get an interview. I equate hard skills to your IQ.

Even though hard skills are necessary to get a job, you need soft skills if you want to keep that job or advance in it. This is simply because everyone who gets hired comes with hard skills. Therefore, career success is dependent upon soft skills. Soft skills include taking responsibility, making effective decisions, setting goals, managing time, prioritizing tasks, persevering, giving strong efforts, working well in teams, communicating effectively, having empathy, knowing how to learn, exhibiting self-control, and believing in one's own self-worth. For this, I identify soft skills as ones EQ.

Ones EQ is portable, unlike many hard skills. For example: software gets updated constantly. By the time one has finished learning how one software works they will likely not use it for very long before a new version comes out. Yes, one could argue that a person will always have the knowledge of that outdated software, but that's what it is-outdated and therefore useless. Soft skills, however, will stay with you and forever be the same wherever one goes. They will always be necessary and employers will always look for them in people. One study suggests that only 15% of workers lose their jobs because they can't do the work. Our world is constantly evolving and coming out with the next thing. In fact, ¼ of workers in the United States today are in occupations that didn't even exist a few decades ago.

For these reasons I conclude that hard skills are important, but soft skills are more important. I personally would rather have an abundant amount of soft skills over hard skills. Hard skills can always be taught, while soft skills are more like habits, which are harder to gain. I think one career specialist put it best by saying, "Having hard skills gets you hired; lacking soft skills gets you fired."

EQ vs. IQ a hard to make

Its hard to determine which one I would rather have more. In my opinion, I think anybody with any kind of sense would like to have a balance between EQ and IQ. Knowing my personal opinion on the matter I really think that it is unfair to be forced to choose one or the other, but if I have to choose one I would rather have a high EQ because with a high EQ their are a lot of chances to be a success in life. Having a high IQ would give you opportunities for success and might take a lot less time, but a having a high EQ helps you and other people feel better themselves which further down the line might lead helping you become a success.

IQ vs. EQ - Week 3 Post

In 1995, Goleman did a study and wrote a book on Emotional Quotient (EQ). He argued that one's EQ is more important their IQ (Intelligence Quotient) in predicting a person's success in life. What do you think?

1) Take the EQ test at: www.ihhp.com/quiz.php
2) Post your answer to this question: If you had to choose, would you rather have a high IQ or EQ? Why?

Lies and excuses are a natural part of communication……

Let me begin by saying that excuses lies are wrong. In stating that fact we all know there are times a person will give us an excuse or a lie, and instead of calling them out on their lie we turn the other cheek. Often people say it is the truth, but the both of you know it’s a lie. I’m not trying to say you can always tell when somebody is lying. Yet, I am saying that some individuals exude certain nonverbal characteristics. (E.g) Sweatiness, direct eye contact avoidance, felling the needs to swallow after each answer among many others. Personally I have never caught anyone in a lie that was bad enough to effect my relationship with them. That can say one of two things about me or maybe both are true. One I may be to naive to notice I’m being lied to. Or two I could just no give a damn.

Excuses and Lies

In my life I've learned that people would lie or make excuses are not worthy of my friendship. The kind of people that feel like everyone else's is on their schedule or that the world revolves around them aren't good influence to expose yourself too. I had one friend that would set up plans and events like trips to ranches or to movies get like 4 people excited to go then the night before he calls and makes up some BS excuse on why he had to cancel. It's just people like that, that I try not to involve myself with.

Waiters Lie!

There are several people who make excuses to me at work all the time. I ask them to work for me and it is so obvious that they are making something up. I think it's the hesitation in there voice that gives it away. Dude, if you don't want to just say so. 

Excuses...

Eye contact is a dead give away for me... especially if I'm looking for it. If the subject is of any importance to me I will pursue eye contact. There is so much information one can gather through this form of nonverbal communication. There are those that can read this information like a book, and lord knows I've done my share of reading. I have to say that deliberate excuses are a stop short of lying, which I can't stand. So I would have to say that those are negative experiences for me.

"Oh what a tangled web we weeve,
When first we practice to deceive."

-Sir Walter Scott

Excuses are like....well ya know

I think everyone is guilty of making an excuse at one time or another, sometimes out-right lies and others not exactly a lie but not the whole truth. I am a forgive and forget person, I believe what goes around comes around. There have been times in the past when an excuse was made to me and I knew it was crap, but if it wasn't malicious then I tucked it away in the back of my mind and went on with my day. I try to think about how everyone has issues and give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she made an excuse for blowing off my baby shower because she didn't want to tell me that she got into a fight with her boyfriend. People have reasons for doing what they do whether its good or bad. Eventually, if it continues and gets worse, I will just drop the person (i am no longer friends with the girl who blew off my shower). If we can work it out and improve our relationship then great, but you can't expect people to deal with your crap forever.

EXCuuuuuse ME! Blog 2

While most human beings will engage in making some excuses in their lives, the common Ben Franklin saying “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else,” may be more of a self-fulfilling prophecy for excuse-makers than simply avoidance or laziness. Whether excuses are used to shift blame or improve what others may think about us, it is easier for excuse-makers to live with excuses than living with the fact that they tried something and failed.

Share with us a time when someone has given you an excuse that you know was a lie. How did you know that it wasn't the truth? What verbal/nonverbal cues were there? How did it affect how you percieve that person? Did it affect your relationship in a positive or negative way?

I Agree

I also agree that socioeconomic status is hard to hide from. It's just almost impossible to avoid it because that's what you grow up with. By the time we get to middle school, we already start to see how the different clicks form. That hasn't left my mind since. As an adult, I definitely agree that socioeconomic class has a direct impact on your decision making.

Economic Value

I Feel that social worth is what most of the new people you meet in life judge you on. As a man I never get judged on my gender by anyone I've met, which wouldn't be the same as if I was female, cause females are judged 24/7. I went to alamo heights high school and all the clicks were based off economic value. All the "cool kids" went to each others beach houses, or ranches and were the first to invite others to their parties. Thats just the way I see what effects I've come across myself.

Male vs. Female

I definitely have to agree with a lot of the posts. Gender is, in my opinion, the most important especially on judging. Females are seen more as the weaker ones. For example, there has yet to be a female president in the United States. For some reason, Males and Females are meant to be treated different when in reality we are all human and should be treated equal. Females can be just as successful, stronger (mentally and physically), etc. compared to males.
That main saying, "You hit like a girl!", is what separates the two genders. Yes girls can be weaker physically but mentally, they can totally be so much stronger than guys when it comes to anything just depending on how bad they want it. This debate can go on forever but until then, females will always be seen as the weaker ones instead of just a regular human being.

-Blanca xoxo

Socioeconomic class

Although all four dimensions have profound impacts on the self, in my experiences socioeconomic class has been the dominant factor. None of us have a choice in any of these areas at birth, economic status is the one area that as we grow into adults we have some control of. We cannot conrtrol our race or who we are atracted to; we can change our gender physically, but only if you have the right amount of money. There are poor and rich people in every walk of life. I agree with the aruments that race and gender cannot be hidden, but thats my point. We can hide our socioeconomic class; some people are better than others at it, but usually that consists of people trying to life a champagne life on a beer budget, resulting in more debt. I believe economic status is dominant in our self because our choices directly affect it. It has never been easy to move up in class (down is easier) but it is possible; if you make the right decisions.

Nothing is Ever Easy

Race

I see many of you have argued that gender is the strongest attribute that defines the self. I would agree that it plays a gigantic role in a person's life. But, I believe race affects a person in a stronger way. Since the founding of our country, and even before, it didn't matter so much what gender you were, but if you were of African descent you were a slave. Fast forward to today, Latinos, both male and female, are being discriminated against in states along the southern border. This cultural context plays a strong role in how a person identifies his or herself. The argument was made in class that some people have the ability to hide their race. In my opinion, hiding my race would be the ultimate example of my race defining me. It would affect your every decision. Who you associated with, where you shopped, what you ate in front of others, how you spoke. Nowadays, hiding or changing your gender (outwardly, not internal necessarily) is just a matter of visiting a doctor. Changing your race is impossible.

I think it's 50-50

I'm kind of in agreement with those of you who said gender. However, I dont't think it is able to be pinned down to one topic. If I had to say, I'd say it's a mixture of gender and race. I will not dispute the fact that in today's society gender does play a large part in roles we play. Yes society experts men to be tough an not to cry. Yes men are also are taught to treat women a certain way etc... But I also believe that gender is a factor of definition, but race is the other major contributiong factor. I believe you cannot have a full complete person without both of these.

forgot to post the test blog!

Is this random assortment of words, carefully placed in a manor that makes it look like I am actually writing something that seems a bit long, acceptable as a test blog, even though i already posted something prior to this? If so, I apologize for wasting your time. If not then darn just wasted mine. Touche blog touche.

Quite intriguing…

I know I’m breaking the rules; disregarding protocol maybe. But, I think the most subjected rule of existence is Identity; More so, Identity of Self.

We all have some category to fall into. These “boxes” to check off are given to us at birth. What isn’t given to us is our identity. This is a hard one to associate with. Your gender, sexual preference, political views or even racial identification mean nothing without your own personal
contribution to the significance those roles play in identifying who you are.

To avoid taking up too much of your time I will simply this: Find out who you are as quick as you can, and be that as long as you possibly can.

-Matthew

GENDER

I would have to agree with some of my fellow classmates that gender is the most important characteristic in one's "self". That is the first thing that anyone would notice about another person. Gender plays a large part in the certain roles we play. As a society, we are taught that men should treat women a certain way: opening doors, not letting them walk alone, not hitting them, etc. Men are taught to be the protectors and providers. Someone made a good point in stating that when a person is talking about their friend, they will say he/she. It seems like gender helps define a person. It is the most difficult characteristic to hide.

Gender

I can most definately agree with what Audrey and Javier said, gender is obvious international and has caused impact on the personal self all over. For example in some part of the world, due to their religions women and men are view of higher or lesser value, or are able to hold a level of power within the family and sometimes even the gov't. I thinks it's just something that affects everyone on a day to day bases, culturally and sometimes even emotional. I've unfortunately seen many women who have been hurt both phycially and emtional/mentally because of the simple fact that they're women; they hold off as weak and/or weak minded.
Which is why I encourage all women to say "I am a strong, independent, good-looking, talented, confident woman and I'm ready to take on the world" when they wake up, kinda lets you start your day on a positive note :) So, go get 'em ladies :)

Hope everyone has a good wkend :)

<3 always, ~Anna~

First Blog Ever!

This is my first blog ever! Thanks Audrey for the tutorial on how to set this up.

Test Post #1

Test Post # 1 :)

Uhhh....

I really don't like computers much. Which is a huge disadvantage considering everything is technological theese days. I don't exactly know what I'm doing, hopefully I'll get it figured out.

Quite intriguing…

I must say that the level of interest of such a topic is an indication whith in itself of the subject's importance. I will refrain from any personal opinions on the issue for the simple fact that such criticisms and/or compliments would only be bias.

Just kidding... here is my entry for the blog. Glad to see that we are all participating in a forum that encourages free thinking and the need to share that thought with others.

-Matthew

Gender

Gender is so deeply rooted in your personality that it is very difficult to alter when it comes to how you perceive yourself.

Everything else is subject to who you want to be that day. Body language, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, speech mannerisms and even race (depending on your own genetics) can be altered at your discretion. You tell yourself who you are and you can decide to change on a whim.

Others will see what they choose to, and they'll jump to conclusions about you that you lead them to.

I thought what I'd do was,

I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.

Behind The Beauty-Test Post

"I'm waiting for the judge to raise her arm and nod her head, signaling to me that it's my turn. Her polyester royal blue suit with the crest makes her appear pathetically regal, like a homeless women who use to be a traffic cop, still wearing her uniform with faded pride. Glory days. I whip my head around when the audience gasps. Hope Spivey has fallen from the balance beam. The unthinkable has happened. Opportunity. She was the only true challenger left, and now she's on the ground, no longer perched high on the beam. She stands on the blue chalky mat, both hands on the plank, surely wondering how in the hell she ended up there. Her face is set with determination, but she is fighting tears. Her mouth is tightly pursed to control the tremor, which, if allowed to erupt, I know only too well would lead to hysteria. Tears have not yet spilled, but they are there. They pool behind her eyes, wet with disappointment, kept at bay with the sharp prick of her teeth into her lower lip. She must finish, despite the impossibility of winning. Despite the shame of falling, she must climb back up and continue. But for the moment, she wonders how she ended up on the ground." [1] This is, behind the beauty of gymnastics.

Gymnastics is about flexibility, strength, talent, and grace. It's about hard training, dealing with pain, tears, sacrificing family, coaches becoming second parents, team mates becoming sisters, early mornings, and late nights. It's about chasing perfection, but never quite reaching it. Gymnastics is an ambition that pushes one through more then they could normally, and usually shouldn't, handle. Competitive gymnastics often causes several problems such as eating disorders, a feeling of never being good enough, and lasting physical injuries. All of which you will see come from striving to fit the mold and perfection gymnastics demands.

Gymnastics is physically abusive. While gymnasts can quit they often don't because gymnastics has become their whole life. "Although the National Collegiate Athletic Association prohibits teams in all sports from practicing more than 20 hours a week, most elite gymnasts, some of them 10 years younger than college athletes, train twice as long each week." [2] Coaches usually become second parents and consequently gymnasts want to please them in whatever way possible. One person even comments "They're like God sometimes to the gymnasts, and what they say is like gospel to the gymnasts." [2] Gymnasts will keep pushing even if that means continuing to work through and cause more damage to a injury. Gymnasts are told to suck it up like Ashley Berry-age 7-who broke her ankle in practice and still competed compelled by her parents telling her to suck it up. [2] "Nine out of every ten gymnasts interviewed said that they had continued to train on injuries that resulted in broken bones or surgery or that they had resumed training without getting clearance from a doctor." [3] "How much pounding? Consider this: A gymnast can reach a height of 10 feet on her dismount from the uneven bars. Imagine standing on a basketball rim and jumping onto a mat less than 8 inches thick, several times a day, seven days a week." [2] One may think that these injuries are just temporary and most are. However, "Three out of four retired gymnasts interviewed continue to experience health problems related to gymnastics." [3] Even I, who didn't get very far in gymnastics, still have lower back pain when I exert myself.

One reason (the most common to me) gymnasts develop eating disorders is because their score is dependent on the way they look. "A runner's achievement, for example, relies completely on speed and endurance. Even though a lean physique is important for performance in this sport, it does not determine which person is awarded first or second place. Instead, the winner is chosen according to the exact time they reach the finish line. Judging a gymnastics routine, however, is not as objective. Each judge assigns a score according to his or her own beliefs. Thus, the appearance of the performer may actually influence their perceptions and affect their ultimate decision." [4] Some gymnasts have even died from eating disorders. For example, "Christy Henrich died in 1994 from multiple organ failures stemming from her eating disorders. Shortly before she died, the 4-foot-11 Henrich weighed 47 pounds." [3]

Gymnastics is also mentally abusive. The pressure to be perfect is overwhelming and it not only comes from themselves, but their coaches pointing out every bobble and imperfection. If you watch the CNN documentary "Pursuing The Perfect Ten" (Which I encourage you all to. It can be found here) you can hear things yelled at the girls like "...way to give up." and "Was that a try what you just did? What kind of a try? Is there such a thing as a quitters try like lackadaisical?" along with "Oh my gosh! What the heck was that?" [2] One of the two head coaches at Parkettes, where these comments took place, thinks the sport is good for the girls. "Maturing them beyond their years." [2] However, I think that it's robbing them of their childhood-forcing them to be professionals when they should be running around outside having fun. 75 percent of children drop out of organized sports by the age of 12, because, they say, it's not fun anymore. [2] One gymnast named Annie comments, "When I finished it, I just said thank God I'm done." [2]

I'm not saying all gymnastics is bad. These seem to be reoccurring trends in competitive gymnastics though. I agree with Rosenfeld who said, "If your goal is to be perfect, you always will be inadequate. And you always will have a problem with your self-esteem." [2] Coaches seem to be getting too caught up in winning and parents in living their dream through their children. We have to remember, that even though their amazing athletes, they are also little girls.

[1] An excerpt from Jennifer Sey's "Chalked Up"

[2] Excerpts from the CNN documentary "Pursuing The Perfect Ten"

[3] Excerpts from an article by Scott M. Reid

[4] Eating Disorders and Gymnastics by Ana Cintado

Gender

I agree with what Audrey said, it is the gender that describes the self most. Mainly, as she said, because it is the first thing we use to describe ourselves. Whether someone is male or female is always present in many things. For example, if someone was talking about their friend, you would instantly know whether its female or male by noticing if they say he/she, him/her, or if they say the person's name is Juan or Joanna. Even if they don't hint at what gender the friend is, people will still begin imagining the person by placing a gender on them and from there people begin speculation of what kind of person the friend is.

Currently listening to: Warm and Sunny Day by The Dears

Javier E. Garza

Test

HATE the weather today

Gender

I think gender plays the most part in our SELF. Gender is the first thing we're known as. From the time we first enter the world we're labeled as a boy or girl with the color blanket we are placed in-blue or pink. People you meet generally ask the gender of a baby before things like age and weight.

Gender is the most basic thing we identify ourselves with. Whenever we meet someone new, is it not the first thing we notice about them? Whether that recognition is conscious or not, I think we'd all agree it is the first thing we notice. In our book it gives this example: "When my niece Michelle was 4 years old, I asked her who she was. Her immediate response was, 'I'm a girl.' Only after naming her sex did she describer her family, her likes and dislikes, and other aspects of her identity." My 5 year old sister was standing next to me when I read this and curiously I asked her, "Who are you?" The phrasing seemed weird to me. I didn't know if she would understand. It seemed more logical to ask someone what they are, but sure enough just like Michelle she immediately stated she was a girl. However, upon asking, "Who else are you?" she didn't respond like Michelle. Instead she said she was a fish, as she likes to pretend to be a fish. I suppose that's where the unclear question took over. :P

For those two reasons, I think gender plays the most part in our SELF.

Audrey Chandler

Invites Sent!

I emailed invitations to become authors of the class blog.  If you have not recieved an email inviting you to become an author, it means that I misread your email address.  Please email me so I can get your correct email address.  I'll send you an invitation ASAP.

Once in, post something about which dimension of Generalized Others you feel plays the most important part of our SELF.  Gender, race, socioeconomic class, or sexual orientation? Why?

How To Become A Contributor

Today in class we discussed becoming a contributor. It's not required, but if you want your test blog and any other blogs to show up like this one and the previous ones our professor posted, then you should become one. If not, you can remain a follower and post comments. Which, is the only thing you can do as a follower. You cannot post pictures, videos, or anything like that. Although, you can post a link to them. The difference is: as a contributor your pictures, videos, etc.. will actually show up vs readers having to click on the link to view them. It's not that big of a deal, but it might matter to you. Personally, I think everyone should become a contributor. That way we can post comments directly on what YOU said instead of reading through comments trying to figure out who everyone is referring to. However, it is a personal decision.

Also, people have been just putting something like, "Here is my test blog." You can do that if you want, but I wouldn't recommend it. I'm pretty sure we're suppose to actually write on a topic. No offense to anyone who did that. It's just a suggestion.

Here is a walkthrough on how to becoming a contributor:

First, copy and paste this link: http://www.blogger.com/i.g?inviteID=3299977193692088371&blogID=5512333111016073331 into another tab or window. The link will take you to a place where you need to set up your account. You do NOT need a google account. You can sign up with another email service such as Yahoo! or Hotmail. If you have a Google account then great, it's much faster that way, but if you don't or do not want to use your Google account then click "Create your account now." It's highlighted in blue. Fill in all the required areas and hit continue.
I'm not sure if there's another page (I don't remember), but eventually you'll get to a screen that's titled "Dashboard." Scroll down to the part titled "Reading List." At the bottom left of the "Blogs I'm Following" tab there is a blue button that says "Add." Click it. A window will pop up asking you to "Add From URL." Put this: http://postinpostout.blogspot.com/ in the empty white space and hit next. The next bit is a personal preference which asks you to follow publicly or anonymously. I'd say publicly, but it's up to you. Finally, hit follow.
Almost done! The window that popped up will go away, leaving you at your dashboard again. Scroll back to the top and there should be Room 229 under "Manage Blogs." (Manage blogs is to the right of your picture.) Under Room 229 there will be a blue button that says "New Post." If you're ready, then click it and type out your first blog.

And there you have it. If anyone has questions, feel free to leave a comment asking anything. (Well, not ANYTHING. But, you know. ;] )

Cheers,
Audrey Chandler

Test Post

Have a safe and fun Labor Day weekend everyone! Do a test post and let us know how things are going for each of you!

Ur Fav Prof

Welcome to Interpersonal Communication!

As we explore what makes relationships tick, we will be covering topics such as: listening, friendships, intimate relationships, workplace issues, family dynamics, love, and conflict strategies. You will have several opportunities to reflect on your own relationships and communication style to find ways to improve all facets of your life. As part of this journey together, I will post the latest studies and hot topics related to interpersonal communication on this blog. Your job is to respond with an example to either confirm or disagree with the posting by sharing insights from your own experiences, or one you've found on a TV show, movie, or research. Feel free to comment on others' postings, and also post any interesting (articles, links, videos, books, tweets, jokes, etc.) related to communication and one-on-one relationships. I look forward to blogging with you!

Dr. Karin Wilking
San Antonio College