DIVERSITY IN THE WORKPLACE- BLOG 8

Studies show that 52% of people perfer to work with people like themselves. This begs the question, "What about diversity in the workplace?" Since most of us cannot choose who we will have to communicate with at work, how do we navigate through the complexities of a multicultural workplace? The top 4 diversity issues that cause problems are:

1. Language Differences
2. Differences in Values and Etiquette
3. Tone of voice
4. "Clustering" (hanging out with others from similar backgrounds)

Post an example of how a difference in one of these areas has caused a misunderstanding due to diversity. Offer some suggestions on how you think communication between people from diverse backgrounds can relate better to each other.

Test 2 Review

Hey everyone. Here's the review I'm using for our test on Thursday. I'd highly recommend printing it out just in case Professor decides to give us 15 minutes of open book/open notes like our last test. Our last test seemed to be more of an every day application of the things we learned so, keep that in mind. Also, make sure you know the NAMES of things and what they are. In our last test Professor gave an example and asked what it was. (At least to me that's how it was) I'd also recommend flash cards for this reason.

You'll see a couple question marks. These are things that I myself don't know. Feel free to fill me in on what they are. Don't laugh at how my brain works and therefore how I write my review. If you don't understand something, feel free to comment and I'll answer to the best of my abilities. Without further delay, here it is:

1. Love types

· Eros: Powerful, passionate style that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically.

· Storge: Comfortable, even-keeled style based on friendship and compatibility.

· Ludus: Playful, game filled style based on non-commitment. “The Player.”

· Pragama: Practical love, have criteria for partner. Blend of Ludus and Storge styles.

· Mania: Possessive dependent love Experience emotional extremes, passion of Eros with game playing of Ludus.

· Agape: Selfless unconditional love, Forgiving-passion of Eros with the stability of Storge.

2. Gender communication

a. How men and women think:

· Women: Globally, both sides of the brain, always on, quick fire.

· Men: Compartments, nothing box, slow & steady, bottom line

b. How men and women communicate

· Women: Details, hints, changing pitch, give listening cues.

· Men: Headlines, monotone, no listening cues.

c. How to communicate better with men and women

· Women: Speak in headlines, stay one pitch, figure out what compartment he’s in.

· Men: Use details, change up the pitch, give listening clues

3. Conflict resolution

a. Communication styles by Cat & Alexander-think people need to have behavior flexibility

· Relater: Open and Slow. Submits to conflict and wants to be liked. Usually in helping professions. Makes office homey. Good listeners.

· Thinker: Closed and Slow. Avoids conflict and likes to be right. Tends to be analytical and stubborn. Has a sterile work place. Likes to think things through and research them. Is detail orientated. Has conservative, repetitive clothing style.

· Socializer: Open and Fast. Confronts conflict and wants to be noticed. Tend to be unorganized, but know where everything is. Has trendy clothes and a flashy car. Is spontaneous.

· Director: Closed and Fast. Directs in conflict and likes to be productive. Is very task orientated. Likes big status objects in office (big desk and chair)-status conscious. Blunt/insensitive.

b. When relating to each other: (Imagine picture and it’s easy)

· Relater-thinker: close it off. Relater-Socializer: speed it up. Relater-director: Close and speed up.

· Thinker-Relater: Open up. Thinker-Socializer: Open and Speed up. Thinker-Director: speed up.

· Socializer-Director: Close. Socializer-Relater: Slow down. Socializer-Thinker: close and slow down.

· Director-Relater: Open up & slow down Director –Thinker: Slow down. Director-Socializer: Speed up.

4. Attraction

a. Attraction theory-We’re attracted because of 3 things

1. Physical (Appearances)

2. Similarities (Personality, likes & dislikes)

3. Proximity (We can’t be attracted to someone we don’t interact with)

b. The Brain in Love

· Dopamine

· Women’s testosterone rises so they stop running “you caught me”

· Men’s testosterone lowers

c. Love Addiction

5. Stages of a relationship

a. Knapp Model of Communication: The three circles with stairs inside them.

· Coming together: (3 steps up)

1. Initiating-first meeting

2. Experimenting-getting to know each other.

3. Intensifying-adding more breadth and depth.

· Relationship Maintenance: (2 steps up, 2 steps down)

4. Integrating-combining friends, hobbies... etc.

5. Bonding-?

6. Differentiating-doing things apart

7. Circumscribing-doing more things apart.

· Separating: (3 steps down)

8. Stagnating-relationship isn’t going anywhere

9. Avoiding-avoiding each other

10. Termination-relationship over.

b. Relationship Development Theories

· Social exchange theory: Do the costs outweigh the rewards?

-Costs=time, money -Rewards=love, attention.

· Interpersonal needs theory: If one fails the other two compensate. 3 points: 1. Affection-desire to be loved/validated 2. Inclusion-people feel the need to be included/belong 3. Control-control over our environment and have a sense of order.

· Equity theory: Take off social exchange. Are the costs and rewards equal?

My costs = Their costs

My rewards = Their rewards

· Social penetration theory: “Shrek Theory”-we all have layers. Uses breadth and depth.

-High breadth and low depth=superficial

-Low breadth and high depth=focused (like on gamming or work)

-High breadth and high depth=deep relationship

· Physical arousal theory: Whenever were physically aroused (not necessarily sexually) we equate that to the person we’re with. (smell of fresh baked cookies at grandmas house, or endorphins-aka happiness-from jumping out of a plain with a friend)

c. Intimacy

· Reasons to maintain a relationship

1. Emotional Attachment

2. Convenience

3. Children

4. Fear

5. Financial considerations

6. Inertia-?

7. Commitment

· Maintenance behaviors

1. Prosocial-politeness, avoiding criticism, comprise, self-sacrifice

2. Ceremonial-birthdays, anniversaries

3. Communication-calling just to say “I love you,” open and honest discussions, resolving conflicts in a positive manner

4. Togetherness-being a couple, controlling extra-relational activities (date night)

d.Deterioration

1. Stages

· Breakdown-Experiencing dissatisfaction

· Intrapsychic- privately complaining to others

· Dyadic-discussing problems with your partner

· Social-seeking support and empathy from others

· grave-dressing-creating a story and closure rituals

2. Signs of deterioration

a. Criticism-instead of merely complaining, the person attacks and blames their partner’s personality and/or character. Such as, “You’re selfish.”

b. Contempt-feedback with the intent to insult and/or psychologically abuse the partner. Such as, “You’re more than stupid, you’re a total idiot.”

c. Defensiveness-not being willing to listen to anything your partner has to say to you, out of fear of them hurting or attacking you.

d. Stonewalling-ignoring, avoiding, and distancing from your partner

e. Escalation of Negativity-during the couples’ interaction-an increase in complaining and criticism

f. Invalidation of each other-not making attempts to understand each other’s points of view.

g. Negative interpretation of neutral or positive events-when one person does or says something which is clearly meant to be neutral or even positive, but their partner interprets their intentions as being hostile or negative

e. Dissolution- Indirect and Direct Break-up strategies

ii. Indirect

1. Withdrawal-avoid, don’t answer phone/emails/knock on door

2. Psuedo De-Escalation-fake “Lets take a break” or “I need some space”

3. Cost Escalation-raise the cost of being in the relationship and lower the rewards

iii. Direct

1. Negative Identity-better off alone, something’s wrong with you (culture, religion)

2. Positive Tone-“It’s not you, it’s me”

3. Justification- Only positive strategy-honest, give reasons for separating

4. De-Escalation-Sincere “Lets be friends”

f. Getting over a break-up

iv. Break the loneliness-depression cycle

v. Take time out-don’t jump into another relationship

vi. Remove or avoid uncomfortable symbols

vii. Avoid repeating negative patterns (like visiting place you went together)

g. High risk factors for relationships

· Age-Male 9 years or more older/marry before 25-twice as likely to divorce

· Children-same or previous relationship-20% gets divorced. Or if the women wants them more.

· Divorce-16% of couples whose parents got divorced get divorced themselves. 10% stay together.

· Previous marriages-90% more likely to divorce if on 2^nd or 3^rd marriage

· Money-16% who considered themselves “poor” or if the husband was unemployed ended up separating. Only 9% who were financially healthy get divorced. Wife’s employment status didn’t matter.

· Smoking-One smokes, one doesn’t. If both smoked it was alright.

h. Intercultural Communication

· Culture- Beliefs, values, norms

· Enculturation-passed down from generation to generation

· Acculturation-learned from environment & being exposed to other cultures

· Specifically-?

Good luck!

-Audrey

Disclaimer: I'm not responsible if this information is wrong or if you fail your test. This is simply what *I* am using. Having said that, I didn't try to screw you over. If you get screwed over then I will be also.

Its Over...cuz its OVER!

I agree with what most of what all of you said, It most definately depends on the person and the situation. I think that break ups mostly occur due to the fact that each of the individuals aren't 100% sure of the relationship anymore, naturally distance happens and several diverse factors follow.

Personally my break ups have been horrible except for like one which was a misunderstanding. As most of you know I have the crazy stalker guy that clearly didn't handle the break up too well, then the next break up was caused by a misunderstanding where this girl that worked with my bf at the time set him up to make it look like he had cheated on, therefore causing me to walking in and throw an amazing relationship down the drain...good news is that after about at year (haha)both him and I were able to become good friends and have become the best of friends today.

My last break up was completely and utterly horrid!!! Long story short, I end up rushed to the ER can't walk for three days next thing I knw he's having sex with my "best friend" and I find out thru a mutual friend that 80% of the relationship was bs...Thank God I broke that off in time!! And people wonder why I have trust issues...

When is it over?

I would have to say that I know its over when one or the other starts dating comfortably. I would hate to think that an ex was just cut off by the other because the relationship is over. I would say that there is a sense of responsibility that I have towards someone who has spent so much time letting their gaurd down for me. To just have them cast aside and not provide ANY emotional recovery period until they are comfortable out there is not with in my character. Now, does that work for everyone, no. And trust me, its not always a joy to be the first one to get that call about the new love interest, but I'd pick up the phone everytime.

I know its finally over when...

I tend to trust my senses on this one.

Generally once I go completely indifferent to someone, and my senses don't crave the stimuli that she produced, I know its over. If I can still remember her touch, or just randomly smell her for no reason I know that I'm still not completely over her. Yes, everyone has a unique smell to them, and you do tend to remember that smell. And yes, I do realize that sounds weird.

You know when you know

There are multiplies reasons you know a relationship is over but the one reason I’m going to give is when you and the other person have nothing in common anymore. When you or the other person is not the same people you were when you first got together you know it’s time to end the relationship. For me I know when it’s time to stop trying to rekindle the fire when the other person stops wanting to be your friend because you still want to be friends but it’s the other person that doesn’t want to have an intimate relationship with you. I think you know when to move on when that other person is no longer a priority in your life.

Options

If you're still in love with them:

Option 1: I think your best bet is to judge how your partner is feeling about the relationship. If they're blowing you off and don't care about it any more, then it's time to move on even if it will hurt.

Option 2: If your partner still loves you and wants to make it work, then give it another try! Rekindle away! If you both want your relationship to work, and are willing to do your part, it will most likely succeed.

If you're not in love with them any more:

Option 1: If your partner doesn't love you, want to spend time with you, or talk to you any more then there's no point in trying again. You've both basically started to move on. It's time to jump off that wagon. The ship has set sail.

Option 2: If your partner still loves you, but you don't love them in return. This is hardest of all for me. I think your best bet is looking at the relationship honestly. Yeah, you're gonna hurt your partner, but if you really see no future in that relationship, then treat it like a band-aid. Rip it off and let it be done with. It will only hurt them more the longer you let it go on.

When am I ready to move on?

After a break up I don't think anyone is really "ready" to move on. Unless, of course, you're the one who ended it. For me, I try to get closure in the relationship. Closure meaning you talk about what went wrong, why it's not working, why you need to separate. I'm kind of a logical person, so it helps knowing. However, I'm not trying to rekindle here. If you had a nasty break up and getting closure ends up being more of talking it out, then you could get back together when things are solved. Usually though, once they leave.. they mean it. So, don't think that talking it out will suddenly change their mind. It's purely a strategy to help you move on.

For girls at least, we like to talk about it with a friend, cry it out, and those sorts of things. The biggest part of knowing if you're ready to move on is if you've accepted it. If you're still trying to get back together, then chances are you're not ready. However, you can accept it and still not be ready to move on. It's hard to say, "This means you're ready." It's more of a personal thing. Some characteristics I would associate with being ready are: acceptance, closure, realizing you're still worth something without that person, flirting with new potential partners.. etc.

-Audrey