It's Over......Maybe?- POST 7

Break ups are usually messy. Your book doesn't talk about all of the tug-of-wars that happen after dissolution. (Getting back together over and over, trying to be "friends", jealousy when you see them with someone new, etc.) During this time, it's difficult to know when the relationship is completely over and it's time to move on. Share with us your thoughts and experiences on this whole "after the dissolution" phase. How do you know when it's REALLY over? When do you stop trying to rekindle the fire? When do you know that you're ready to move on?

Self-Esteem

Why do people become love addicts? I'd say it's mostly a self-esteem issue. People who are love addicts need someone to be with them, care for them, show affection, and make them feel worth something.

On the other hand, people with high self-esteem tend to understand love is not everything. These kinds of people understand who they are and do not need someone to hold them up. They're confident. Because of this, they are able to see love as something not necessary. Yes, it's wonderful, but not "I'm falling to pieces without someone."

make love not war

i am slightly prone to love addiction, i believe that it is better to have a little addition to love than to not love at all. it is a matter of control that is important, as it is with any drug. i think that some people may develop love addiction because of neglect as a child but that is not always true. i was shown alot of love and affection as a child and maybe that taste for love stayed with me. yes, i need it. whether it is with a romantic partner or family or friends or even loving myself. love is very important in our world and there is just not enough of it. when i was in my worst love addiction i was determined to love him whether he was mine or not. and he always knew even though we werent together i would always be there for him if he needed me.

Loving is not a crime!

Love is like a drug and people become addicted to drugs so a love addict feels like they could not live without love. However, I think that when you are in true love with someone you'll never find that same feeling with anybody else. You can come close to that feeling but it will never be the same. When people say they have never been in love they are either lying to you or holding the truth from you because experiencing love is the most powerful feeling ever known to man that nobody will ever forget.

I do believe that the actual chemicals that are released in your brain are a matter of biology. Love can make a person do crazy things; things that he or she would not do if they were in their right mind. I think that if love can make you do things that you will not normally do, then "yes" I would say that love is a biological factor.

Non-Addict

I think that people are love addicted have either been rejected in their childhoods and haven't been showed affection therefore they'll do nearly anything to get it to the point to where it becomes obbessive, they feel like the attention from their partner is essential to everyday living. I like to think that self esteem, attachment styles and prbly all of those factors can cause love addiction. Love addiction can also be a very dangerous and sad state in which a person can find themselves. A word of caution: Be careful who you fall for...

Post 6- Why Is Love A Drug For Some?

Love Addict Test  

Take the self-quiz at the link above and see if you are a love addict.  Now that we know that love creates dopamine in the brain similar to many drugs like cocaine and meth, we can now understand how many can become addicted to being in love.

Why do you think some people fall in love and become love addicts while others fall in love but do not?  Do you think that it's a matter of biology? Life scripts? Attachment styles? Self-esteem? etc.

I agree that love can exist with out lust. Both I feel play major roles in intimacy. I think it is important, if looking for meaningful relationships, that love be established. I would have to say from experience though, that lust is a very impatient participant when started a new love with someone. This can be a fun ride, but if not taken seriously can ultimately lead to menial relationships.